But just in case, it might be a good idea to get off the grid.
The kind of getting off the grid that includes bamboo groves and fresh mountain air blowing into your treehouse hot tub...
The kind you’ll get at the Naked Stables Private Reserve, a back-to-nature resort in rural China that lets you reconnect with your primitive roots (only with on-call butlers), taking reservations now.
First, about that name: no, it’s not that kind of resort. (The stables will be fully clothed. You will be, too... mostly.)
Instead, imagine the kind of place Ewoks would go for a little R&R—treetop villas, expansive lakeside huts, the like.
We recommend getting a villa—modern spaces, replete with a cowhide rug in your living room. (What you do with that info is your own business.) You’ll have a patio, where you can cook up an afternoon BBQ, possibly involving snake meat—they have a guy who knows a guy—then relax in the aforementioned hot tub.
You can spend a good chunk of your day horseback riding—there are about 60 acres of valleys and mountain trails. But we imagine you’ll find your way to the spa—located on stilts—for a quick Thai oil massage, before an evening in the cigar lounge.
Hey, you gotta stay loose for the cigar lounge.