1. Pull off a Quadruple Lindy.
2. Finalize the details of your new professional football league.
3. Storm a castle.
We hear 1 and 2 are proceeding apace. But you might need help with that last one...
Meet Scotching and Shooting at Greystone Castle, a glorious day of revelry at a medieval castle in the middle of Texas, taking reservations now.
If Mel Gibson had shot Braveheart in Texas for some reason, he’d have done it here.
Your quest for a literal fortress of scotch will begin with a 100-mile drive west. After settling into your lodge—there are five within the castle, and four or five suites within each lodge—you’ll be faced with the following challenges: target shooting, wrestling with 10-pound bass on one of the lakes or hunting anything from duck to oryx. (Jousting is not an option. Yet.)
But once the guns have been fired and the targets have been obliterated, you’ll sip fine wine and feast on fresh duck in the dining hall. After trading tales of the one that got away, you’ll take to the courtyard to sip five different scotches (if you require a particular bottle, call ahead). Then you and your friend on the rocks will climb the tower and look out as the sun sets over the hills.
Hey, someone has to guard this place.