Free of charge.
What she does when she gets there: totally up to you.
As long as it solely revolves around her reading you a bedtime story.
No, we’re serious.
This is Here Is Where We Meet, an intellectual escort service through which a mysterious woman will come into your bedroom, read to you and... that’s it. Really, she just reads you a bedtime story. We promise, that’s all. Accepting appointments now.
Think of this as (literally) the storybook ending to your day. Or a bizarre alternative to counting sheep/warming a glass of milk/watching reruns of Seinfeld. A woman who, in the name of art and psychology, is making midnight house calls to read Goodnight Moon and other books to strangers.
Now, before story time can begin, you’ll need to answer an email questionnaire. Queries include: “When do you go to sleep?” “What are your favorite books?” and “Do you have any bedtime rituals?” Remember, honesty is always the best policy.
Once you’ve scheduled an appointment and picked a book (it’ll be free, even if you’re into Billy Shakespeare), she’ll arrive promptly 15 minutes before bed to spin you a sleepy yarn. Or help you search for Waldo.
And when you’ve finally nodded off to dreamland, she’ll quietly clean up after herself, shut off the lights and lock the door on her way out.
And they all lived happily ever after.