Normally, fighting words.
Today, sleeping words.
Introducing The Outdoor Bedroom at AKA Central Park, a five-star hotel that’ll set you up a penthouse suite on a wraparound terrace, accepting reservations now.
Finally, you can experience for yourself the visceral sensation of sleeping outside on 58th Street. Well, technically, 17 stories above 58th Street in a lavishly appointed hotel room: a queen-size bed, chaise lounges, metal-clad fireplace and your own personal s’mores butler. Yes, finally.
Now, before your luxurious return to nature can begin, there are certain preparations that must be made. Namely, the reservation of a penthouse (you’ll want the east suite for its superior views/oversized rain shower) and a two-week heads-up. Apparently, it takes some time to move things like an entire living room and banquet table up onto a roof.
When you finally arrive, you’ll drop your bags down inside, head out onto the veranda and find a strange man waiting. Don’t be alarmed—he’s only there to tend to your wood-burning fireplace and toast up your first batch of La Maison du Chocolat s’mores.
Once the bedside fire has been brought to a proper roar, you’ll either want to call down to the lounge and have them send up a martini-bearing bartender, or take some time familiarizing yourself with the terrace’s high-powered telescope.
You know, for, um, stargazing.