Straw

Straw Poll

Straw, by the Numbers

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Every so often, a restaurant graces us with a concept so drastically out of the ordinary that we have to run the numbers. So when we heard about a carny-themed eatery with a Price Is Right–level appreciation for games of chance, strength and skill, we broke out our abacus and got to work. Below, a critical accounting of everything you need to know about Straw, opening Monday in Hayes Valley...

Number of sandwiches on the menu: 30
Sandwiches dealing in Belgian waffles and fried chicken: 1
Number of hours that make up happy hour: 3, starting at 4pm
Krispy Kreme donuts involved in the off-menu Ringmaster’s Master burger: 2
Vintage Tilt-a-Whirls turned into booths: 1
Its weight in Krispy Kremes: 3,555.56
Probability of finding Pop Rocks, Jawbreakers and Fireballs at the bar: 100%
Number of skee-ball refrigerators: 3
Quantity of funhouse mirrors: 2
Magic word to turn a side of potato chips into tater tots: “Midway”
Industrial-size cotton candy machines in use: 1
Plinko gumball machines: 1
Cost per gumball: 10¢
Number of pink flamingos outside: 2
What it means when they blow a whistle during service: It’s game time.
What you could win: Free dinner, free wine, a stuffed animal...
Number of wine bottles in the Houdini box: 1
Number of tries you’ll have to release it: 3
Framed Coney Island photos on the wall: 6
Percentage of the space that’s reminiscent of Coney Island: 99.9
Ratio of tables to carny games: 1:2
Number of games: 24
Days until opening: 5

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