In order to go all out this year, you’ll want to rest up. Best way: 20 straights hours of sleep. Second best way: this sleep pod, where a model will read you a bedtime story as you sip a flute of champagne and then drift off into a power nap. Footed PJs optional.
Your Guide to Art Basel
Art Basel. A glorious mix of Europeans, parties and sex-crazed dolphins (more on that later). But don’t get sidetracked. Make space for these five events, guaranteed to blow your Dogs Playing Poker-loving mind.
Mating, with Isabella Rossellini
Isabella Rossellini: actress, model, chronicler of the mating habits of animals. So you’ll want to catch Seduce Me, a series of five short videos starring the Blue Velvet icon, in which she explores the seduction rituals of seahorses, dolphins and ducks. Take extra-copious notes during the seahorses part.
Gambling Amid British Suits
Next week, think of Duncan Quinn as Casino Royale, with more slim-fitting polos. As you enter, a man in a black tie will hand you a gratis gin cocktail. Then, you’ll play a little blackjack in the gambling pit and check out a Michael Caine movie in the screening room. Fingers crossed for The Weather Man.
Mark Ronson at LIV
After you’ve hit the Soho House for your usual 21-course Wednesday night dinner, you’ll want to grab a banquette at the mega-club next door, where superstar producer Mark Ronson will be DJing a funk- and blues-heavy set late into the night/morning. Go ahead, bring Samantha.
Brought to you by hipsters Friends with You and called Rainbow City, it’s a trippy, anime-esque adult playground, with huge inflatable mushrooms and a grown-up-sized bouncy castle. Sort of like your birthday party when you were six, only this time you like the girls bouncing around with you.