You have a few standbys—opening her car door, holding a boom box over your head outside her window, etc.—but you’re always open to new ideas.
So the next time you find yourself crouching in an ordinary garden, choosing some fresh-picked flowers... stop. Stand up. And slowly make your way to Chinatown...
You will find The Fat Radish, a clandestine new den of romance and gardening in Chinatown, open now.
It looks like what would happen if Freemans opened a botanical garden in an old abandoned Chinese sausage factory (which this is). All the elements of a good date spot are here: the low lighting, the aesthetically pleasing company and (as you insist) old Mandarin graffiti on the walls.
Near the entrance, you’ll find a counter that by day is a humble juice bar serving up Bloody Marys and grilled cheese made from a top-secret recipe. But tonight you’ll move past that and toward a table near the flower boxes brimming with sage, rosemary and chili. Trust us: those’ll come in handy later.
Tonight, you’re having the mako shark (flown in from Montauk). Then, when your date gives you a bite of her parsnip dumplings or pork pie, and you inevitably find yourself thinking, “This needs a little more sage,” you’ll do what any emotionally sensitive human in your position would do: reach over, extract one clover of sage from the nearby sage bush and then artfully, deliberately, seductively sprinkle it all over her... plate.
You’ve always wanted to make it rain sage.