Finally, someone seems to be listening...
Which is why we wanted to let you know about something called Dinner, Drinks and Home Defense, a curious dinner party during which you’ll enjoy exotic meats and learn how to protect yourself from burglars, now taking reservations.
We know: you’ve got an alarm system. And a pack of Dobermans. And Mission: Impossible-style laser beams. But you can never be too careful when it comes to protecting your family/Nintendo Wii.
So here’s how this will go down: you’ll invite six to 10 friends to your home for a dinner party. Your guests of honor: a former SWAT sniper, a former Army medic and a former Army paratrooper, who will start by taking over your kitchen and cooking you a huge meal, complete with booze and dishes like venison and slow-roasted pork (and let’s just say the meat is very fresh).
Then, they’ll proceed to school you on the ABCs of home defense: everything from how to disarm a thug who just kicked in your front door, to how to handle yourself when there’s a burglar in your house and you have five minutes until the cops arrive. They’ll even bust out plastic military-training guns and plastic bats and guide you through a little pseudo hand-to-hand combat.
As far as we know, the threat of ninjas will not be addressed.