You know this.
And in times like these, you don't just raise your fist at the heavens, place a Miami Herald over your head and curse the rain god who brought upon this batch of pestilence.
Rather: you go medieval on its ass.
Which is why we think you could use the Broadsword Handle Umbrella, a new rain tool to add to your water-protection arsenal. And we do mean arsenal.
Quite simply, there is nothing in the world quite like the Broadsword Handle Umbrella. Its closest comparisons are the duck-billed platypus, or the guy from that Old Spice commercial who was part horse. Which is to say, it's a regular umbrella, with a handle that looks like a sword handle from King Arthur's time. Quite simply, it is Excali-brella.
And if you owned Excali-brella on a day like today, you would stow it comfortably in its shoulder strap bag, renaissance faire-style, as you begin your journey to the office. But at the first sign of threatening conditions—raindrops, falling coconuts, poncho-clad tourists needing directions to Versace's house—you would put your hand on its long, leatherette grip and unsheathe this metalized beast with all the fury and menace of a vengeful sixth-century knight.
And then you would open it up and keep your khakis dry.