Arrive at a nondescript former factory in River West.
Take the first alley on your right until you see a burgundy couch.
Walk through the glass door and enter Ancient Greece. Or maybe it's Rome.
Actually, it's Aire Ancient Baths, an absolutely stunning Spanish-born bathhouse with some very Old World charm. It's open now. Take a look.
The waiting area features an authentic, 16th-century fountain to set the mood, as well as a couple hundred candles. It's nice. You'll like it in there. But then, you walk through the changing room. You emerge onto an elevated platform. And before you: the grand reveal of half a dozen illuminated pools surrounded by, yes, so many more candles.
This place specializes in the art of relaxing, and relax you will in your choice of the Flotarium that has the same salt density as the Dead Sea. Or maybe in the hot Caldarium. Or an indoor-outdoor pool that lets you slide under a glass partition for some fresh air under a waterfall.
Once you've done a sufficient amount of pool hopping, make your way to a treatment room, where a duo of masseuses will treat you to a four-handed massage. Or maybe a red wine soak is more your speed. Or a Himalayan salt scrub.
Or never leaving.