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Overanalyzing Alessandra Ambrosio's Instagram

Drawing Wildly Irresponsible Conclusions About the Departing Victoria's Secret Angel, Via Her 'Gram

By Geoff Rynex ·
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Images: Instagram

Sometimes, in an attempt to sneak a peek into the interior lives of the rich and famous, we’re forced to launch an investigation into the evidence at the public’s disposal. By which we mean, grossly overanalyze whom these people choose to follow on Instagram.

Today, we take a look into the deep follows of one Alessandra Ambrosio, the Victoria’s Secret legend who announced this week that the just-shot VS fashion show will be her last. Let's see what Freud, Jung and Rogers have to say about the lass. Just kidding, let's dive headlong down the rabbit hole and bullshit this thing...

THE PROFILE OF ALESANDRA AMBROSIO

Posts: 5084
Followers: 8.7 Million
Following: 1033

THE BELL CURVE

A lot of fan sites, all the major models and publications, Coachella and Burning Man communities, various causes, and, of course fellow supermodels. She comes off as someone for whom 2007 was a very good year, in a good way. 


OUTLIERS

@vsfunniest

It’s just memes featuring Victoria’s Secret models. They laugh just like us!

@gameofthronesnotofficial

An unofficial GoT account. Understandable. And yet, somehow surprising.

@rogerwaters

The Pink Floyd legend, whose feed consists entirely of rock star-like photos of himself. Keep that brand tight. We’ll attribute this somewhat rare music follow to Ambrosio’s general boho nature. 

@the.bluelagoon

An account dedicated exclusively to the 1980 and 1991 Blue Lagoon movies. This indicates a high level of quirk. 

@daddyshomemovie

Is she in this? A quick search says she’s in this. You forget how many things models just end up showing up in. Let’s move on. 

DIAGNOSIS

If we were to guess, we’d say someone else has access to her account for more polished posting, but she posts on her own frequently. A happy medium for an experienced famous person.

Geoff Rynex is the only person named Geoff Rynex in the history of mankind. He would rather have the best burger than the best steak, likes hearing bartender stories and spends too much money on clothes.

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