You may have met some of these people over the weekend. You may meet some of these people tomorrow. But by God, if you're partying in New York City for Halloween, you're going to meet these 10 people...
1. That one person who just spent their life savings at Gothic Renaissance.
Who needs to eat this month when you can have an intricate golden headpiece inlaid with myriad gemstones and dark green feathers sourced from only the most exotic of African birds? This person is also probably wearing an accompanying feathered shoulder-piece, which costs as much as a small studio in Harlem.
2. The person attempting a costume-joke that's entirely too soon.
Honestly, we wish you weren't dressed as Hurricane Maria, but maybe it's better to ignore you.
3. That one person you're still avoiding after an awkward advance at a masquerade at the Soho Grand in Halloween 2009.
It's a small, small city sometimes. Specifically on the weekend directly preceding October 31st.
4. The unimaginative business guy whose costume every year is just a black suit and a mask.
If prodded, "I wear this every year," he'll say with a grin. You already know this.
5. The unimaginative model type whose costume every year is just lingerie and a mask.
We get it. Still, ugh.
6. The one person you met at a boat party over the summer who you then contacted for work reasons. This person viewed your message on Tuesday, September 5th at 3:04pm, but hasn't responded.
You spot this person standing idly near a bowl of party punch, and have the thought, "You saw my message on Tuesday, September 5th, at 3:04pm." You're sort of impressed you remember this with such specificity. You feel a residual pang of rejection, the kind only an unanswered Facebook message can induce. You avoid this person.
7. The person who clearly just recycled their look from Burning Man Day 4.
It's the dust goggles in the lobby of the Williamsburg Hotel that give it away.
8. The semi-famous person who's noticeably peeved you don't recognize their semi-famousness under their costume.
9. The attractive woman who said, "fuck it," and is attending the function in a convincing full-body feathered chicken suit complete with a headpiece.
Marry this person. Straight women and gay men included.
10. The one guy on magic mushrooms dressed as "Head in the Clouds" (this costume involves a regular outfit, blue face paint with some questionable white blobs dabbed on) who absolutely loses his mind when you told him you've been Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, with varying degrees of success, three times. It's not funny, but you roll with it so as not to ruin his good fun.
This may have been very specific to my experience.