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Overanalyzing Juliette Perkins's Instagram

Drawing Wildly Irresponsible Conclusions About the Leo's Newest Model Crush, Via Her 'Gram

By Geoff Rynex ·
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Sometimes, in an attempt to sneak a peek into the interior lives of the rich and famous, we’re forced to launch an investigation into the evidence at the public’s disposal. By which we mean, grossly overanalyze whom these people choose to follow on Instagram.

Today, we take a look into the deep follows of one Juliette Perkins, 19-year-old up and coming Australian model who is, as yet, little-followed, but is newest member of the Models Who Date Leonardo DiCaprio Club. Let's see what Freud, Jung and Rogers have to say about the lass. Just kidding, let's dive headlong down the rabbit hole and bullshit this thing...

The Profile of Juliette Perkins

Posts: 1132
Followers: 22.8k
Following: 951
Credo: IMG WORLDWIDE✨RED11✨THE ICONIC Snapchat - julietteperkins 〰Do things with passion or not at all.

The Bell Curve

No great surprises here. Lots of other models, photographers, fashion/beauty brands and a lot of folks who appear to be just civilian friends from down under. It's largely uninteresting, but we'll address that later. 

Outliers

@leonardodicaprio

Aside from fashion luminaries, Perkins doesn't actually follow many celebrities. I realized doing this important pseudo-psychological research project that I'd never actually visited Leo's Instagram page. It's almost exclusively wildlife- and climate change-related images. The man is nothing if not consistent. This follow though, along with the dearth of other celebrities, is our best indicator that this relationship has legs [stifles laughter].  

@tdgoes_priv

102 followers, “just keen to get fucking rowdy really ..” is his credo. Classic Australian guy. 

@instaalcoholic

The private but well followed diary of a trainwreck/humor account. No @fuckjerry. No @fatjewish. Just this. And while we commend her discernment, we can't help but worry about this person we just heard of. 

@hotvocals

Heartwarming/humorous video memes in low resolution. It's an insight into Juliette's sense of humor and value system that suggests a New Sincerity approach to social media consumption. 

@victoriassecret

Dare to dream. Leo certainly has a penchant for the brand. Maybe dating him is a rung on the ladder to her wings.

Diagnosis

Perkins is not the type to strain to make herself appear cultured or intellectual via her follows, or even to make it seem like she’s very interesting at all. Which is not to say she isn’t. She could merely not care about her social media presence and be secure enough with who she is that it doesn’t need to be a put-on reflection of who she is in real life. Or it could just be that she’s 19 and dating Leonardo DiCaprio. 

Geoff Rynex is the only person named Geoff Rynex in the history of mankind. He would rather have the best burger than the best steak, likes hearing bartender stories and spends too much money on clothes.

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