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Overanalyzing Bella Thorne's Instagram

Drawing Wildly Irresponsible Conclusions About the Former Disney Person, Via Her 'Gram

By Geoff Rynex ·
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Sometimes, in an attempt to sneak a peek into the interior lives of the rich and famous, we’re forced to launch an investigation into the evidence at the public’s disposal. By which we mean, grossly overanalyze whom these people choose to follow on Instagram.

Today, we take a look into the deep follows of one Bella Thorne, rainbow-haired actress/singer, latest Disney star to shed her "little girl image" with a nude photo shoot (in GQ Mexico), and recent poster of a gram that’s either a statement of body positivity or a vaguely racist throwaway comment, depending on which corners of the internet you frequent. Let's see what Freud, Jung and Rogers have to say about the lass. Just kidding, let's dive headlong down the rabbit hole and bullshit this thing...

The Profile of Bella Thorne

Posts: 4369
Followers: 16.3 million
Following: 1831
Credo: Don't try this at home youtu.be/QN0zGKvE_m4

The Bell Curve

Bella follows a lot of people for someone with her large followership, including most of the current crop of supermodels, lesser, social media-famous models, vintage shops, rappers and pop stars, fellow actors/actresses too young for you to really care about, and—what the hell—convenience stores. There are also enough percussion-related accounts to suggest she's an aspiring drummer. There's also a cat-related account called Meowingtons that bears mention because it's a wonderful name. 


Outliers

@shazam

Really more of an audio thing, we would think, but has some nice stolen photos of various pop artists of note. The only conclusion to be drawn here is that she’s one of those people who likes things on social media that she likes in life, regardless of the quality of the social media itself.

@rawlife247

Spanish rolling papers. It's the only marijuana-related thing we could find. We assume she, like all rational humans, smokes pot. But again, this seems more like a brand-appreciation play. 

@dylanefron

Zac’s brother—the thinking man’s Efron.

@bestofmenstyle

Love a woman who's into menswear. 

@homedepot

More brand appreciation. And evidence of a possible future in home renovation reality show hosting. 

Diagnosis

As mentioned earlier, Bella follows a lot of people. But too many of them are too strange for the account to be managed by a team of former Disney minions, which suggests a genuinely engaged celebrity social mediaite. She's loyal and a frequenter of America's chain convenience stores, which we're going to say indicates a down-to-earthness. A secret desire to be a punk drummer lurks somewhere in this woman as well. 

A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on

Geoff Rynex is the only person named Geoff Rynex in the history of mankind. He would rather have the best burger than the best steak, likes hearing bartender stories and spends too much money on clothes.

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