Style

Overanalyzing Bella Hadid's Instagram

Drawing Wildly Irresponsible Conclusions About the Star of Runway and Magazine, Via Her 'Gram

By Geoff Rynex ·
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Sometimes, in an attempt to sneak a peek into the interior lives of the rich and famous, we’re forced to launch an investigation into the evidence at the public’s disposal. By which we mean, grossly overanalyze whom these people choose to follow on Instagram.

Today, we take a look into the deep follows of one Bella Hadid, 20-year-old jetsetting superdupermodel, former reality TV bit character and younger sister of Gigi. Let's see what Freud, Jung and Rogers have to say about the lass. Just kidding, let's dive headlong down the rabbit hole and bullshit this thing...


A post shared by Bella Hadid (@bellahadid) on Mar 20, 2017 at 9:58am PDT

The Profile
Posts: 2024
Followers: 14.3 million
Following: 257
Credo: "isabella khair hadid...and so it is [dove emoji][butterfly emoji] IMG Worldwide x Anne.Nelson@img.com"

The Bell Curve
Fellow models, fellow Hadids, brands she models for, photographers, makeup artists. Very much what you'd expect, with a smattering of what we assume are non-famous IRL friends. 

Outliers
A lot of tattoo artists and parlors
Bella just got an oh-so-trendy micro tattoo (above, of a rose) at Bang Bang in NYC. It’s her second, after a pair of also-micro wings on her ankles, either commemorating the god Mercury or her status as an honorary Victoria’s Secret angel. The fact that she consumes so much tattoo ‘gramage tells us she’s considerate and methodical, fully aware of the permanence and significance of the choice of a tattoo. In the end though, she went with what is easily the current hippest and celebrity favored option.

@briechantelxo

A post shared by The Weeknd (@briechantelxo) on Dec 31, 2016 at 11:32am PST

Though she no longer follows Abel Tesfaye, aka The Weeknd, whom she dated for a year and a half, she continues to follow this incredibly fan-like fan page. Their breakup has seemed outwardly amicable, so perhaps this is an inside joke maintained by the two, or maybe a low-key way of keeping the flame. Or maybe an oversight. 257 followees isn't many. The fact that this account is among them says...something.

@lewishamilton

A post shared by Lewis Hamilton (@lewishamilton) on Jul 19, 2017 at 9:12am PDT

A leading Formula One driver (the sport that has the opposite reputation across the pond that Nascar does here) who’s more ripped than any race car driver needs or has a right to be and is, for our money, a way cooler option for favorite and best-dressed British athlete than @davidbeckham. Hamilton has a lot of followers in the fashion world. That Hadid is one, and doesn't follow Beckham speaks to a discerning eye. 

@jordanclarksons
Clarkson is a slightly-above-average player on a bad team in Hadid’s home town. He’s about to be made irrelevant by Lonzo Ball, but is a snazzy dresser and may be (though is not, in our Fashion Week experiences), among the growing class of middle-of-the-pack NBAers who are way into fashion (see: @kellyoubre and @bazz). Aside from Hamilton, he appears to be the only athlete on the followee list. Dating? 

@natgeo

A post shared by National Geographic (@natgeo) on Aug 9, 2017 at 5:29am PDT

Is getting high and thumbing through National Geographic Instagrams a thing yet? If so, Bella, get at us. 

Diagnosis
She follows sister and fellow hyper-model @gigihadid, so we can safely assume they're doing just fine splitting dominion over the fashion world. No apparent issues there. She has undeniably good taste and loyalty to the brands that compensate her and appears to be the careful sort. No real kinks or quirks to speak of. No major PR controversies or racially insensitive posts. Dedicates a good number of grams to non-professional photos, which is charming. How about we write a prescription for 100mg of keep doing what you're doing. 

Geoff Rynex is the only person named Geoff Rynex in the history of mankind. He would rather have the best burger than the best steak, likes hearing bartender stories and spends too much money on clothes.

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