But for now, if you're not a Humboldt grower crafting your own weed wine, you'll have to stay content with the likes of hemp whiskey. We see two varieties of this stuff emerging onto the great, green open playing field that is the future of quasi-legal laughing-grass. That's right, whiskey infused with hemp, as in the plant that could totally save the planet but is totally useless because it doesn't get people stoned. Anyway...
Colorado Small Batch 64 is a hemp whiskey made by Coal Creek Distillery in Crested Butte. It's produced in limited quantities and strives to be more than just a gimmick, claiming depth of flavor and levels of complexity that whiskey lovers are looking for. Using hemp seeds, local water and Olathe corn, the distillery's owner tells 9 News, "It cannot make you high," detailing the long process he's been dragged through get the stuff approved for sale. As of this writing, it appears available to purchase online at $64 a bottle. Though it's likely the law varies state-to-state, seeing as it has hemp seeds bouncing around in the bottle's deep-end, ready to transform you into a raging mad jazz fanatic.
But there's another option. Take a trip to Alberta. That's where an alcoholic hemp drink named Mary Jane's Primo Hemp Whiskey claims to be made and poured among the province's finer taverns. Also available in gin and vodka strains, Mary Jane's is a 40% ABV spirit with a 4.20% hemp infusion that really shouldn't fucking matter because it's not going to get you high.
It is also not for sale in the U.S. Though licensing opportunities are already available for anyone seeing beaucoup dollar signs. Because hemp spirits just might be the next big thing. Until actual weed-spirits become an actual thing.