Food & Drink

The Latest in Snortables: Chocolate That Goes Up Your Nose

It's World Chocolate Day, After All

By Hadley Tomicki ·
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Remember that time you snorted Pixy Stix? No? Trust us, it doesn’t feel very good and the rush is weak.

But for anyone else out there who'll snort anything once, we present snortable chocolate. It’s out now from the makers of Legal Lean. That’s Legal Lean. You probably missed Mr. Wonderful falling hard for it on Shark Tank.

Anyway, back to the snortable chocolate. It’s called Coco Loco and according to Grub Street, one $25 package contains ten servings of “raw cacao powder, ginkgo, biloba, taurine and guarana” intended to give the snorter an energy boost and euphoria. Interesting concept, a snortable powder that gives you an energy boost and euphoria...

Of course, we’re all dying to find the next goji berries/green coffee/coconut oil/apple cider vinegar that will encourage our fellow Americans to hand us money for something we can find with low overhead. These guys decided to just basically repackage a ton of herbal supplements that were already squeezed through the hype cycle and add a viral, adolescent-friendly street drug twist into the mix. Intravenous Nik-L-Nips can’t be far behind.

So now you know what snortable chocolate is. Even if the “why” will never truly, properly be solved. You may even intrinsically feel that putting chocolate up your nose is a way bad idea.

But 2017 is not the time to let common sense stop anyone from doing what they feel like doing. One day our world will grow cold and the sun will burn out. And face it, you’ve probably bought worse shit in Tompkin’s Square Park.

Also, we’ve just learned it’s World Chocolate Day. So what are you waiting for? Get snorting.

You can find this shit on Amazon, where it's quaintly marketed as infused "snuff."

Hadley Tomicki lives in Los Angeles. He is probably going nowhere on the 10 Freeway this very second.

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