We know. What a drag.
But assuming you’re still with us, the “here” we speak of is Serenity at Coconut Bay, an adults-only all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean that more than lives up to its name. It’s open now, and, please, allow these pictures wash over you like a gentle beach breeze.
In the interest of keeping it real, we’ll admit that this is very much a honeymooners type of place, given the privacy of the suites and the fact that it’d be silly not to have your butler draw you at least one candle-lit aromatherapy bath. However, we wouldn’t want you not being married (or just married) to keep you and someone special from enjoying...
—The daily mixology lesson, and the daily cocktail from said lesson.
—Mahi-mahi tacos by the hotel pool.
—Kurobuta pork chops and other Caribbean-inspired delights served in the comfort of your own room, because why the hell not...
—A refreshing dip in your plunge pool the moment you wake up.
—A rejuvenating butter rum scrub at an 11,000-square-foot oceanfront spa.
—The ever-infamous all-inclusive open bar policy.
Oh, right. That.