Five Crucial Pieces of Advice From the Black Tux Groom’s Guide

On Being a Successful Wedding Guy

By Geoff Rynex
Your, our and everyone’s favorite tux rental operation, the Black Tux, has gone to the trouble of compiling 224 pages of insight, advice, illustrations, disturbing traditions, prose poems to child labor and an index into what they call The Groom’s Guide. It’s available online and in print right now. We don’t feel the need to explain what it is, but we’ll first remind you that wedding season is just about upon us, and now relay to you what we think is the most valuable tutelage in the book:

1. “If you manage to have any guests who actually score less than a 1 on the personality test (hey, we all have a bigoted uncle who clocks in at about a 0.3), we feel for you. Just seat them next to each other! Misery loves company.”
This is timeless advice, but it may be... a little more timeless in today’s political climate.

2. “Don’t bring your phone to your wedding. Live in your moment, and let everyone else document it.”
We’d actually like to see this rule applied to more events.

3. “When sending out your RSVP cards, include a space for your guests to write in a song request.”
That’s some quality wedding resourcefulness right there.

4. “The material of your cummerbund should always match the material of your lapels.”
See? You didn’t learn everything you needed to know in kindergarten.

5. “Ignore anyone who tells you there are rules you must follow.”
This is the very first piece of wisdom you’ll encounter in the book, which is ironic, but no less sage for its irony.

Geoff Rynex is the only person named Geoff Rynex in the history of mankind. He would rather have the best burger than the best steak, likes hearing bartender stories and spends too much money on clothes.

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