Not a single damn one.
That being said...
We’re about to give you a whole bunch of them.
1. Château St Pierre de Serjac (that’s the name) is open now. And now is always a good time to steal away to a 200-acre estate with a vineyard, a hotel, a restaurant and a spa in the Mediterranean countryside.
2. It was restored in 1886 by Baron Cyprien de Crozals, so you can expect period features like crystal chandeliers, 19th-century gilt mirrors and polished-steel Bateau tubs.
3. This slideshow.
4. The restaurant has things like roasted half pigeon, pineapple tartare, and local and national cheese selections from a master refiner. (Hint: Roquefort is 40 minutes north.)
5, 6 and 7. The heated infinity pool. The clay tennis court. The boulodrome, where you’ll learn how to play pétanque.
8. The winery has been in constant production since the Roman era. And, yes, there’s a vat room, a barrel store and a tasting room.
9. In addition to the eight hotel rooms, they’ve converted 36 original outbuildings around the grounds into one- to four-bedroom rental homes.
Assuming you’d like to stay awhile.