The front of your head.
We’d just feel a lot better about this crazy thing called life if someone made a vase out of it.
And guess what, friends? We feel pretty goddamn good today.
It’s called Fahz, which is hilarious, and it’s a 3D-printed vase whose edges look exactly like your facial profile.
Let’s go to the fake press conference about it:
A: Ma’am, what’s your question?
Q: A face vase? Who wants a vase of their face?
A: Who doesn’t? You in the back.
Q: How do they make this thing?
A: Glad you asked. You send them a photo of your profile, then they do some quick geometry and create a 3D model, which then goes to a 3D printer, which spits out a vase that looks like your face. Next question.
Q: Who’s responsible for this miracle?
A: A couple of Brooklyn designers who were looking for a Mother’s Day gift. Yes, you in the porkpie.
Q: Bill Bailey, Vase Aficionado. Can you comment on the website’s claim that they won’t ship until May?
A: We’re not sure we appreciate the negative implications there. But yes, this was a super-fully-funded Kickstarter, and they’re only in the preorder phase right now. You there, holding the vase that isn’t of your face.
Q: But I want it now.
A: Patience, sir. Patience.