Gear

The Rejection List

The Things We Left Behind in 2014

You know that feeling you get when you read <em>SkyMall</em> and think... “Why?” Well, these things are a lot like those things. Just a few whatnots that people were excited enough to present us with that we went ahead and left behind. Don’t mention it.

Pro Bono: A Speaker That Only Plays U2

Pro Bono: A Speaker That Only Plays U2

It’s a speaker that plays songs from U2’s Songs of Innocence no matter what you try to play on it. The worst part is that it’s built on an incline so it doesn’t even make a good cup rest.

SexFit

SexFit

You share a lot of things with your social media accounts. It’s just that your thrusts-per-minute and time spent engaged in pleasures of the flesh as counted by this penis-tracker are probably not those things.

James Franco’s Online Class

James Franco’s Online Class

We get it, James. You do a lot of different extracurricular activities. So there’s no reason you should stop at instructing an online screenwriting course. You should give the people what they want. But didn’t ask for.

Dead Meet

Dead Meet

No, it’s not a terrible ’90s sitcom premise. Yes, it is a site where people like morticians and gravediggers come to find dates. What. It’s not like they can just go to a bar or someth... wait.

Wearable Futon Air Mat Set

Wearable Futon Air Mat Set

What, this? This is an oversize Japanese jumpsuit that you wear around the office. Then, when you can’t stay awake any longer, you blow up the included inflatable mattress and fall asleep. If you need this, maybe you should just take a sick day.

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