Oktoberfest. It’s happening right now in Germany. And whether you’re in Munich or not, you’re going to need the proper trimmings for your own version of it. Below: five such trimmings. Strangely, most of them have a lot to do with beer.
Seventy-seven years ago, two butchers opened a shop on New York’s Upper East Side and made pork things. Today, it’s still there (and online) with other German goods like Nürnberger bratwurst and landjäger and something called the Oktoberfest Pack. And they’ll deliver it all. This could get wurst-y.
And now, a list of things you’ll do thanks to this picnic table beer garden bench and
beverage-resting surface:
1. Sit.
2. Laugh.
3. Raise a stein to friends.
4. Get up awkwardly because someone else has to move in order for you to leave.
Finally. The emerald-green, velour, satin-lined fedora with a brush made of boar’s hair in lieu of a feather you’ve always wanted. So go ahead and check that off the list. This has been both a meaningful and delightful exchange. Thank you.
Okay, we’re allowed to include a Viking drinking horn on a technicality. Scandinavia was once part of the land called Germania, you see. Then that split into separate kingdoms, but all the people were still Germanic. Point is: here’s your drinking horn.
“Everyone, this is Heidi. Heidi, everyone” would be the best way to introduce Heidi Klum when you book her for your Oktoberfest. She’ll do things like speeches, an autograph signing, meet and greets, and probably not being your beer maid.
