Allow us to break it down for you...
Number of liquor bottles stored in high school lockers behind the bar: enough to do the job
Times you’ll hum the Saved by the Bell theme song: none that you’ll admit to
Televisions dedicated to sports: 12... for now
Time on Sunday you’ll start practicing your USA chant for the Portugal game: 5:50pm
Beer varieties on tap, including Cigar City, Funky Buddha and Goose Island: 12
Tables not covered in collages of Sports Illustrated pages and old baseball cards: 10
Tables soon to be covered in said collages and cards: 10
Chances yours will be loaded with waffle, curly, plain or sweet potato fries: 100%
Number of toppings (like cheeseburger and fried eggs) that you can opt to put on your fries: 7
Potential number of topping/fry combinations you can concoct here: do the math. Or... just eat the damn things.