Oh, really. You... do. Huh.
In that case, say hello to Spyglass (left, atop Archer in Midtown) and Roof at Park South, two very different yet equally rooftop-y new watering holes.
The former opens Wednesday and the latter’s open now. Herewith, a breakdown, tale-of-the-tape-style...
Spyglass: From the moment you step out of the elevator, you’ll enjoy an unobstructed peek at the Empire State Building. It’s the date spot King Kong always wanted.
Roof at Park South: You’ve got a decent look at the Chrysler Building—but the block-to-block view of open sky above is the showstopper.
Spyglass: Conversation starters like the bourbon-y You Look Smashing, along with octopus tacos from David Burke Fabrick downstairs.
Roof at Park South: Serious gin drinks. Five different martinis. Plus Wagyu beef and lobster from a James Beard winner. A front-runner for Most Overachieving Rooftop Food of 2014.
The Wild Cards
Spyglass: A private back room with its own secluded terrace.
Roof at Park South: Two giant, glass-enclosed fireplaces.
Spyglass: Bring dates. Bring out-of-town guests. Bring a high tolerance for selfies.
Roof at Park South: Come with a group. Claim a fireside banquette. Don’t ask for a vodka-soda.
The rest should come naturally.