Five-cent buffalo wings.
Complimentary turndown service.
Any offer involving a horse’s head.
The Brando, a stunning contender of a new resort located on its namesake’s old private island in the South Pacific, taking reservations now for a July 1 opening.
As the story goes, Marlon Brando found this island (and his third wife) while filming Mutiny on the Bounty in 1960. Slowly fade to him buying the atoll in cash, building a French Polynesian village and bequeathing it all to you in the form of this place. (“Bequeath” being a loose term.)
And then cut to a montage of you, swaying in a hammock at one of the 35 thatch-roofed beachside villas; nodding with approval at tuna from the two-Michelin-starred chef overseeing the room service; and gleefully snorkeling through some coral while making the inevitable “sleep with the fishes” joke.
There is one downside, though. You’ll have a layover in Tahiti before your 20-minute connecting flight to the island.
You’ll also have to rethink the word “downside.”