Gear

Skeptical Investigation

A Breath Freshener. For the Bedroom.

C946d0d62f8ca0e80aaecce47f59b818We’re lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm’s way to investigate. Albeit skeptically.

We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Trademark pending.)

THE CLAIM
That the unfortunately named Stiffy Strips, a pack of dissolvable sheets made up of natural herbs, will freshen your breath...

... and basically turn your bedroom into a horizontal funhouse in under 15 minutes. If you catch our drift.

So we asked one of our crack investigators to test the above claims and see if any of them... stood up. Okay, we’ll stop.

THE INVESTIGATION
We gave our investigator the packet of strips, instructed him to put one under his tongue and let it dissolve. The strips resembled small pieces of Fruit Roll-Ups and reportedly tasted like medicinal Red Hots. We’d like to have the record reflect that said investigator opted to consume three of the strips, noting: “What the hell.”

The strips dissolved within 10 seconds and a timer was set.

THE VERDICT
After 30 minutes, our investigator reported “fresh, cinnamony breath.” So that’s... good.

As for whether this quickly enhances your libido and taps into your inner Wilt Chamberlain...

Don’t wait up.

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