But we really hope it didn’t involve German postwar architecture, rooftop rum drinks and glass-windowed saunas. Oh, and monkeys.
Because that’s exactly what we’re involving you in today.
Willkommen to 25hours Hotel Bikini Berlin, a 149-room oasis overlooking the Berlin Zoo and possessing all that stuff above, taking reservations now.
This would be the perfect place to help that also-ran ice dancer forget about Sochi for a while. Its 10-story, 1950s-era facade might look imposing at first, but you’ll warm to the place once inside your room (think Danish minimalism meets the Serengeti). Or certainly by your second lemon tart at the firewood-powered bakery downstairs.
But back to the zoo... sure, you could explore its 84 acres of elephants, springboks and other zoological wonderment on foot. Or you could just explore the deep roster of rum cocktails at the hotel’s rooftop bar, complete with panoramic views of that wonderment. Or better yet, head to the ninth floor, where you’ll find a sauna with a giant glass window gazing upon the zoo’s monkey cage.
Pretty sure there’s a Planet of the Apes prequel in there somewhere.