Sits on some desolate patch all day. Gets picked up. Maybe not. If it’s lucky, it’ll be used in grandma’s pie recipe or end up as a misguided carving of Ted Cruz’s face.
But your gourd deserves a better life. A nobler pursuit.
Like holding your beer.
Get your lager ready for The Pumpkin Tap Kit, an alcohol-dispensing faucet that turns your gourd into a veritable keg, available now.
Here’s how this is going down:
1. You buy this tap kit.
2. You pick up a pumpkin.
3. You insert said tap kit into said pumpkin.
4. You commence pouring pumpkin-laced booze into an awaiting cup.
That’s pretty much it.
So picture it: it’s late October. You’re hosting that annual thing at your place. You pull out this kit and screw the chrome-plated brass shank and faucet into your humongous, cleared-out gourd. Then, you pour some seasonal ale or a bourbon-y cocktail into your pumpkin to tap throughout the night.
Yes, it’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.