Tapped Out

Pumpkin + This Tap Kit = Your New Keg

None Consider the plight of the pumpkin.

Sits on some desolate patch all day. Gets picked up. Maybe not. If it’s lucky, it’ll be used in grandma’s pie recipe or end up as a misguided carving of Ted Cruz’s face.

But your gourd deserves a better life. A nobler pursuit.

Like holding your beer.

Get your lager ready for The Pumpkin Tap Kit, an alcohol-dispensing faucet that turns your gourd into a veritable keg, available now.

Here’s how this is going down:

1. You buy this tap kit.
2. You pick up a pumpkin.
3. You insert said tap kit into said pumpkin.
4. You commence pouring pumpkin-laced booze into an awaiting cup.

That’s pretty much it.

So picture it: it’s late October. You’re hosting that annual thing at your place. You pull out this kit and screw the chrome-plated brass shank and faucet into your humongous, cleared-out gourd. Then, you pour some seasonal ale or a bourbon-y cocktail into your pumpkin to tap throughout the night.

Yes, it’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

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