Hypothetical problem: wind no longer exists.

There’s nothing beneath your wings.

Nothing to be three sheets to.

Nothing to... carry your tee shots to fairway glory.

Good thing it’s only hypothetical. Now about those tee shots...

Throw caution to the wind for Vaavud, a tiny wireless device that spins around on your phone and tells you precisely how fast the wind’s going, available online now.

This thing basically looks/works like a miniature weather vane. Only instead of having a rooster on it, it resembles a pair of red or white Mickey Mouse ears. And instead of showing you the wind’s direction, it uses a magnetic rotor in the bottom to determine its actual, mean and maximum speed. And sends that info to your phone. Which all seems better than a weather vane.

So when would you use this thing: competitive kiting, maybe. But we’re thinking golf. You’ll tee up. Pull out your phone. The device will start spinning. And the corresponding app (there’s a corresponding app) will display the findings. You’ll adjust appropriately, and your partners will stare at you like you’ve lost your f**king mind.

Oh, and we should mention the meter was calibrated in a Denmark wind tunnel.

We couldn’t not mention the Denmark wind tunnel.