Guard Wail

A Clock That Warns You About Stuff

None Monsoons.          

Forest fires.

Zeus releasing the Kraken.

All things you face when camping. Especially Krakens.

Which you’re fine with, provided you have something to give you a heads-up ahead of time.

Heads up: the Eton ZoneGuard is a little alarm clock/radio that automatically warns you of imminent danger when you’re braving the great outdoors, and it’s available online now.

Okay, so the name kind of sounds like a stick of deodorant. But it’s not a stick of deodorant. It’s more like a Kindle-shaped radio that monitors national safety warnings and tells you when you should pack up camp and get the hell out of someplace.

Just throw in some batteries before your next woodsy sojourn. Then punch in a special code that automatically syncs it with the national alert system (you can program up to 25 regions). Once you do, it’ll be like your very own little digital worrywart.

And when it’s worried, the color-coordinated light beacon at the top flashes and lets out a piercing alarm (about as loud as a train whistle at 500 feet). Standard double-rainbow advisory = green. Tornado watch = yellow. Clouds of bees attacking civilization (or, say, flooding) = red.

No, it doesn’t work when you’re low on s’mores.

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