As a general rule, you like to keep things discreet. Subtle, even.

Your romantic overtures. Your careful hints that you deserve a raise.

And certainly the speaker you’re using to blast out Kiss’s greatest hits at your next party. That should totally be unobtrusive.

Enter the Anakonda, an Italian-made, six-foot-long, snake-like speaker that blends in just about anywhere, available now.

Okay, so it’s actually named for a snake. The same one that terrorized Ice Cube. The same one that Sir Mix-A-Lot named his... Well, anyway, this thing’s ultrathin and ultraflexible. Only weighs three pounds. Just hook it up to an amplifier and voilà—your new age/death metal favorites never sounded so good. 

If you’d like to mount it below your six-foot TV, it’s got brackets. Throw the white slipcover on it to blend it into your wall. Tie it in a knot just so you can say things like, “Wanna come over and see the speaker I tied in a knot?”

As far as upgrades, you can pair it up with subwoofers. Or you can chain as many as 32 of these things in a row, leaving you with nearly 210 feet of snake speaker.

Actually, that’s probably too much snake speaker.