You know he wants to play. Everyone wants to see him play. He’s just not ready to play.
Your abs know just how he feels.
So get them to CrossTown Fitness, a West Loop gym ready to pound you into beach-ready shape even if it has to drag you across the city to do it, now open.
It’s not that you won’t like it here. The entire floor is covered in astroturf. Or whatever bacteria-resistant artificial grass is called these days. The front half is a sleek café, soon to be filled with spinach salads, protein shakes and teriyaki chicken supplied by the Fifty/50 Restaurant Group. (You always suspected they were secretly health nuts.)
Your workout: a hybrid of CrossFit and high-intensity interval training. You’ll run on a treadmill. You’ll do pull-ups. You’ll do rings. You’ll slam a medicine ball into the ground. But mostly, you’ll sweat.
Here’s where things get more interesting. Maybe you’ve noticed the weather is pretty fantastic. So you’ll jog over to a nearby park for burpees, body squats, jumping rope and assorted other rigors. You can also sign up for morning workouts at North Avenue Beach or take advantage of this summer’s stand-up paddleboarding and kayaking excursions.
We’ve long felt your workouts qualified as public spectacle.