Food & Drink

Wired In

Behold: The Caffeinated Bacon Waffle

None Waffles. Bacon. Maple syrup. Coffee.

Add them all up, and you’ve got yourself a breakfast.

Or place them in the hands of a rogue food-science laboratory, and you’ve got... this.

Give a warm, skeptically optimistic welcome to Wired Waffles, a new breed of caffeinated and bacon-maple-syrup-flavored energy pastries set to alter the laws of breakfast physics, available right now.

At first glance, they look like... well, a waffle. Honey-brown exterior. Deep square pockets. But after your first cautious nibble, you’ll notice that the soft, syrup-soaked texture and subtle undertones of bacon actually taste like... well, a waffle. (But with a touch of bacon.)

See, no one’s trying to redefine the waffle here—just improve it. So they fashioned some perfectly hand-holdable Belgian-style ones and injected some flavor (like sugar, chocolate chip, cinnamon and straight-up bacon). Then they added enough caffeine for three cups of coffee. The result: a Frankenwaffle that endows its eater with the power of 10 men. (Or at least the power of forming full sentences before 9am.)

Keep some desk-side for a quick pick-me-up. Stockpile a crate for when the coffee machine croaks. And think about it: if you invest now, you’ll make a killing once caffeinated waffle stands inevitably replace every neighborhood coffee shop.

But maybe that’s just the waffle talking.

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