You love them.
Wait, scratch that. You hate them, mostly because you can’t get out of bed in the morning.
This will help: meet the Ramos Alarm Clock, a clever new line of waker-uppers using Soviet Union parts and multiple rooms to get your butt out of bed, accepting preorders now for shipping in November.
So there you are: sleeping. Soundly. As per usual, the morning comes. Completely inconsiderate of your flying dreams, coasting above the city, toasting champagne with a late-’70s Margot Kidder while Andy Williams soars next to you singing “Moon River” (RIP).
Then, you hear the alarm. Which forces you to rise out of bed and go to whatever room you’ve placed the remote diffuse panel. Say, the kitchen. Or the bathroom. Or the neighbor’s bathroom. Once there, you’ll enter the four-digit passcode you set the night before, killing the sound coming from the clock.
And by the way: it’s a handsome clock. Handbuilt. Wooden. Displays time using Nixie tubes, Soviet Union–made things intended for tanks and spacecrafts during the Cold War.
No, it wasn’t built by Ivan Drago.