Bi Curious

The Military’s Binoculars, Now Available

None Let’s get this out of the way right now. You could totally use these for illegal purposes. But we trust you’ll only employ them in the service of truth, justice and the American way.

Just like the military.

Introducing the Fraser-Volpe Stedi-Eye Mariner binoculars, the best optics you’ll ever own, at least until you get fitted for a bionic eye in 2056.

These were designed with a couple purposes in mind: 1) really high-level badassery, and 2) really high-level fishing. In the first case: well, these things used to be available only to the military and law enforcement, what with all their night vision and near indestructibility.

In the second case: should you be bouncing around on the open water, a little motor-powered gizmo inside stabilizes your image up to 98%. Also: they’re waterproof.

Now, back to why you’d make this kind of investment. Well, for anytime you want to magnify something 14 times from really far away. So: spotting your blind date from a half-mile away. An extraordinarily competitive game of capture the flag. Liberating Europe in your upcoming D-Day reenactment (the French are not happy about this).

Or, you know, a football game.


Fraser-Volpe Stedi-Eye Mariner

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