Yakety Yak

It’s Called the Bellyak. It’s Glorious.

None Picture yourself barreling down some Class IV rapids in a kayak.

The spray lashes relentlessly against every exposed inch of your skin. Jagged rocks pound the bottom of your vessel like a bunch of pissed-off river Poseidons. A spawning salmon just slapped you on the side of the head.


Now picture the face-first version of that...

Behold the inevitable rise of the Bellyak, a gloriously plucky new take on the kayak that involves you lying flat on your stomach and thrusting yourself headlong into the rapids, available online now.

It’s like someone took a perfectly good toboggan, introduced it to a boogie board and then sent the two of them out for a few martinis on the set of A River Runs Through It II: Skerritt’s Revenge. The result: pure magic. Also, a really awkward date between two pieces of sporting equipment.

But yeah, it’s a face-first kayak. The creators: a husband-and-wife team from Asheville, NC. The vessel: a flat-hulled boat with no straps or skirts that’s designed to mirror the maneuverability and overall feel of an actual kayak.

Hop in, strap on a pair of paddle gloves (they sell those, too), lie down on your stomach and let the face-kayaking begin.

Shame they didn’t make this thing in time for the Olympics.

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