Off the Hook

An App to Help You Escape Bad Dates

None This week, you may find yourself on a date. Things may go well. Then again, things may take a turn for the dull. Or the psychotic. We’re not sure which one is worse.

Anyway, the point: there is always a small chance you may need to make a graceful exit. Immediately.

That’s when Fake-A-Call, a new app available now, comes in handy. It miraculously interrupts your evening with a well-timed but totally bogus call informing you that you’re urgently needed in the cockpit/in the OR/at your parakeet’s funeral.

We know. It’s the ol’ app-that-makes-a-fake-phone-call-to-get-you-out-of-a-bad-date trick. You were using those back when iPhones didn’t even have retina displays. And your date, very suspicious about the whole parakeet story, has seen them, too.

But this is the Laurence Olivier of fake-phone-call-making apps. The screen and keypad look very much like a regular call. You can even have names from your contact list pop up.

Also, you’ll choose from nine different prerecorded scripts and nine different voices—the flooded bathroom is still a time-honored chestnut—giving you some dialogue to work with as you fake your end of the conversation. Or better yet, just record your own excuse.

Your two years at Second City: finally paying off.

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