The Meatball Joint

Meat and Greet

The Meatball Joint, by the Numbers

None Last night, LeBron saved the Heat’s season. Great timing.

If he’d have waited until today, nobody would have cared.

Because today, we’re getting a new meatball spot in South Beach.

Presenting everything you need to know about The Meatball Joint, a spherical sub shop that’s rolling balls, pouring pints and ladling marinara sauce starting right... now.

Hours of operation: noon to midnight
Ideal meatball-eating time: noon to midnight
Number of L-shaped aluminum bars: 1
Number of tables in the dining room: 12
Number of tables that look out the Alton-facing floor-to-ceiling windows: 6
Scandinavian tourists you’ll see riding scooters on Alton at any given time: 42 per hour
Flat-screen TVs in the dining room: 2
Percentage that’ll show Dolphin games during the season: 100
Odds that watching the Dolphins this year will be more enjoyable than eating turkey meatballs with waffle-cut sweet-potato fries: 45-to-1
Types of bottled beers on the menu: 19
Types of meatballs on the menu: 3
Types of sauces on the menu: 3
Number of sauces that prominently feature beer-marinated mushrooms: 1
Amount of balls that come in the baguette sandwich: 4
Number of napkins required to eat a baguette sandwich: 45
Varieties of cookies you can choose from to make an ice cream sandwich: 3
Total number of possible ice cream sandwich combinations: 6
Number of those combinations that involve a meatball: 0

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