Skeptical Investigation

An App That Controls Your Dreams. Allegedly.

None We’re lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm’s way to investigate. Albeit skeptically.

We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Trademark pending.)

A British psychologist claims his Dream:ON app holds within it the key to mystical dream control. The shtick: place your iPhone on the bed, choose from a list of location-specific “soundscapes” that only play once you’ve achieved REM sleep and have a predestined dream about whatever soundscape you’ve chosen. Like virtual Tokyo. Or virtual space. Or not.

After a quick nightcap (recommended, but not required), our weary investigator donned a be-butt-flapped onesie and went about the business of launching the app, setting the alarm and selecting the Wild West soundscape (we’re not not going to choose that one).

Fade to black...

Come morning, the foggy-headed researcher reported several instances of waking up in the middle of the night to the unexpectedly horrifying sounds of neighing horses, swinging saloon doors and over-served Doc Holliday types grumbling something about sassafras.

Despite the claim, nary a six-shooting standoff or a half-naked Olivia Wilde from Cowboys & Aliens found its way into our UD lab technician’s subconscious. If they spent a few more nights with this thing: maybe. If they thought about Olivia Wilde instead of listening to creepy sounds all night: definitely.

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