This is a judgment-free zone.

No matter what you say, no matter what you do, nobody will think any less of you.

We swear.

Even if you decide to take advantage of a little legal loophole that allows you to rent out an entire two-story strip club in Long Island City for the evening.

Remember, judgment-free zone.

Introducing Gypsy Rose, an upstanding entertainment venue that’s strictly available for private... affairs—yes, that’s it, affairs—taking reservations now.

Thank your local liquor control board. It’s because of them that this place is currently tied up in red tape and sans liquor license. It’s also because of them that, at least for the time being, Gypsy Rose is getting into the private-event-planning business.

And as you might expect, the ground rules here are, um, lenient. For the most part, anything goes (so dust off that inflatable pool of pudding). They’ll even connect you with a caterer—who’s approved to serve booze—and a rolodex of on-call professional dancers (should you require that sort of thing).

Which means your viewing-party plans for the first round of March Madness are suddenly falling into place. Just put in a call, fill out a contract, round up a few to 523 friends, and you’re all set.

Just make sure one of those friends is a mustachioed emcee.