We get tips all the time on the best new this or the shiniest new that. But some of these are, what’s the word... awful. These are the superstars of that bunch: the annual UD Rejection List.
In a world where iPods and dignity don’t exist, this thing may have had a chance. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world. On the bright side, this combination of what looks like a bulletproof vest and a subwoofer only requires 10 hard-to-find batteries. So hey, go for it.
Amazon is great. You can get a nice Michael Bublé Christmas album for Mom. A blender. A book about Michael Bublé’s favorite blenders... and, oh yeah, this sex doll that looks like Miley Cyrus. We’re pretty sure it’s not Disney-licensed.
We know: there just aren’t enough hours in the day for you to do the vital work of chewing your own pencils. The solution (yes, there’s a solution to this problem): these pencils, which have already been chewed for you. As for who chewed them, don’t ask.
Counting how many bites of food you take in a day: there’s apparently not an app for that. Instead, there’s this watch-like thing, which measures how many times you reach your hand to your mouth. So... one less thing to worry about.
Why, yes, someone has gotten around to creating disturbingly lifelike replicas of what Harry Potter characters would look like as infants. But no, you can’t buy them anymore, because they’ve all been sold. A damn shame, that.
