It’s seen things. Scandalous things. Salacious things. Scarlett Johansson–related things.
So really, this can only end one of two ways.
A. You encase the phone in cement and throw it in the Hudson.
B. You download KYMS, a password-protected media vault that’ll store all your sensitive material (videos, pictures, mistress’s Facebook album) behind an impenetrable wall/ordinary-looking calculator icon, available now.
Let’s get one thing straight: we don’t advocate lying (okay, that’s a lie). But we do understand the need to keep a few things hidden from the world (perfect example: that 40-second clip of Eurythmics karaoke).
So if you’re worried about your browser history wrecking any future political aspirations or a photo from last Saturday night bringing shame upon your family, you’ll download this and then wash your hands of the whole affair.
Operating the covert app: devilishly simple. Any media files on your iPhone can be imported with a few taps. Any damaging files on your computer can be sent over wirelessly. And once you’ve tucked everything away in a place nobody would ever think of looking, lock it all with a numerical password.
They’ll never suspect 8675309.