High Voltage

If Jack Bauer Played Laser Tag...

None It seems like only yesterday.

A black-tie gala to save the bald eagle. You were sitting there, minding your own business, when out of nowhere, 10 ninjas parachuted in. You moved quickly, successfully defending your date, your martini and a little thing called freedom.

Okay, that didn’t happen. There were only five ninjas. But the point remains: you need to prepare. And by prepare, we mean practice with some high-voltage laser tag...

Meet StressVest, a military-tested training vest and laser gun that’ll send 4,500 volts zipping through your body, available online now.

First, the obligatory warning: 4,500 volts. That’s not a little. So, you know, maybe keep a lawyer on retainer when you’re messing with this thing.

Which brings us to: this thing. It’s a vest and a laser gun, designed to bring a little electricity to your next bachelor party/corporate retreat/full-scale reenactment of The Deer Hunter. Oh, and it hails from that bastion of American military training: Canada.

How it works: on the back of the vest, you’ll find a dial. You’ll set it to one of four different levels, depending on how much pain you can endure. (Hint: take how much pain you think you can endure, and subtract three levels.) Then, every time someone shoots you, you’ll feel a stinging vibration.

Suggestion: don’t get shot.

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