USB martini shakers. The “coffee is for closers” scene from Glengarry Glen Ross. The sandwich.
Yes, there are always those things.
And then there’s this...
Behold the borderline useless/borderline mandatory piece of handmade mantel-candy otherwise known as the Medieval Crossbow, now available for your antique-collecting, faux-knighting pleasure.
Now, short of Liam Neeson showing up and releasing a Kraken in your living room, this thing is probably best left as a properly displayed conversation piece. And by properly, we mean hiring a full-time Sir Galahad impersonator to hang out on horseback in your foyer (or again, just on the mantel should be fine).
Each one is handcrafted by a guy in the Ukraine (if anyone knows their medieval crossbows, it’s the Ukrainians) and requires a few days’ notice for manufacturing purposes. And once you pick the right specs, color... and whatever else a seasoned crossbowman would pick, you’ll also be able to stock up on things like quivers, bolts (basically arrows) and, of course, armor.
No self-respecting crossbow owner would be caught without armor.