We hope this sunny Tuesday afternoon finds you well.
But on the off chance you find yourself under that very same sun with your face freezing off (and realizing that it is, in fact, Tuesday afternoon), you may be looking for a little pick-me-up right about now.
We’d like to suggest marshmallows.
So behold the marsh-y, mallow-y healing powers of Hyper-Caffeinated Coffee-Flavored Marshmallows, your new ally in the fight against... actually, who are we kidding, they’re just hyper-caffeinated coffee-flavored marshmallows, and they’re now available online.
Honestly, though, the name can only say so much. What you’re dealing with here is a three-pack of oversize Java, Coffee and Mocca mallows crammed with 200 to 280 mg of caffeine (and yes, they’re injected with real double espresso and coffee). To put that in perspective, feel free to think of these as the bite-size, awkwardly textured equivalent of taking about three shots of espresso.
Sure, you could easily drop one of these in your hot chocolate for a little afternoon jolt... but let’s say somewhere between rolling out of bed and licking your bourbon-induced wounds, you’ve come to the conclusion that it’s either caffeine or showing up late to your shoe shine/press conference on the Governor’s Mansion lawn (you’ll tip extra).
Pop one of these things, wait a few minutes and prepare for what could be the most hyperactive day since... ever.
Or you could just drink three shots of espresso.