Losing Control

Introducing Your Anti-Resolutions

Soon, very soon, you’ll make a personal promise to be better in 2011—to work out, eat healthy and finally file the paperwork to patent your clothes-folding robot. But you still have seven days before those resolutions kick in. So we present, with no remorse, your anti-resolutions...

UD - The Cupcake Martini at Four Lounge

The Cupcake Martini at Four Lounge

Soon, you’ll be meticulously avoiding sweets and cutting back on drinks. But even sooner, you’ll be indulging in Four Lounge’s boozy take on Society Bakery’s cupcakes, mixed with vodka and caramel cream, then poured into a martini glass. And if you sneak a few after January 1, we won’t tell.

UD - The Texas Eight-Hand Massage

The Texas Eight-Hand Massage

2010: a stressful time. (You’re still in shock from Don Draper’s proposal.) So take your tense shoulders to the Ritz-Carlton and get the Texas Eight-Hand Massage, where four sets of therapist hands will massage your body for 50 synchronized minutes. They’re like the Beatles of massaging.

UD - The Jalapeño Elk Corn Dog

The Jalapeño Elk Corn Dog

The fair has come and gone. Big Tex is deflated. And come 1/1/11, fried foods are on the restricted list. Your last fix: the elk-meat corn dogs at Fearing’s, fried in a jalapeño batter and served with brown ale mustard for dunking. Oh, how you’ll miss the dunking.

UD - The Unlimited Stacks Burger

The Unlimited Stacks Burger

Where others see a simple meal with friends, you see a Man v. Food challenge. And with this insane concoction at the Nodding Donkey, you’ll pile on all the four-ounce patties your burger spotter can handle. Then you’ll add brisket chili or pulled pork before it’s smashed between two buns. Sometimes food needs to be put in its place.

UD - Cigars and Chocolates

Cigars and Chocolates

Smoking indoors: a timeless, borderline-outlaw pleasure, best enjoyed when it involves newborns, NBA championships and/or... tobacco-infused chocolates. About those: the Havana Social Club is pairing their house-rolled cigars with wine- and tobacco-infused chocolates from Chocolate Secrets. Which gives us an idea for chocolate-infused cigars...

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