Food & Drink

Barrel of Fun

A Barrel’s Worth of Single Malt

UD - English Whisky Co. Patience: never an easy thing.

And yet, there are some situations where it’s a must.

Investing. Farming. Dating cougars.

And, of course, aging a barrel of whisky in your living room.

Introducing The English Whisky Co., a distillery that’s letting you adopt whisky by the barrel, available for preorder now.

Essentially, with a single purchase, you’re covered whisky-wise until about 2015, at which point your robo-manservant of the future can handle your booze needs.

You’ll pick from two barrel sizes (30 or 50 liters) and two barrel types (peated or unpeated). Whatever you choose, it’ll be filled with cask-strength whisky. At first, it’ll be super-strong—handy if you need some paint peeler. But in the long term, your booze will mature inside the barrel, improving and aging over time. Like a 401(k) you can drink.

And while you wait for that to happen (tasting along the way to monitor progress), you’ll keep yourself busy with those everyday responsibilities that come with being a whisky-barrel owner. Such as making sure your smoking jacket collection is up to snuff. Mastering the art of Snooker. And converting your living room into a speakeasy.

It helps if your door is unmarked.

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