You have either: A) retired to a cave in the Galapagos Islands.
Or B) decamped to The Fruit Bat, the new den of booze and, yes, fresh produce on H Street, soft open for private events now.
This is like Carmen Miranda's hat in bar form. You and a fellow exotic traveler will enter a narrow room with plenty of tiny tables and the occasional staghorn fern growing out of the walls. (A key component of any date.)
The ferns have their own grow lights, as do the live herbs growing over the granite and Astroturf bar—the better to snip for fresh mojitos. (Hint: leave the snipping to the professionals.) Over the bar, you'll also find baskets of oranges and grapefruits, which the bartender will press for you and then whip into a boozed-up smoothie. There's also a chalkboard listing the day's beers on draft (hint: expect something with fruit) and infused liquors (think tequila with watermelon and thyme, or cherry vodka with cucumber and sake).
But should the décor make you hungry, your dining choices (still being finalized) will be mostly South American street food like fried plantains with coconut rice, pupusas and fresh salsas.
Infuse vodka with salsa at your own risk.