You’re having a summer picnic. Fresh bread. A little wine. Your favorite sundressed partner in crime. When behold, a line of ants comes marching through, threatening to ruin the whole day.
Times like this, you have only one choice: eat the ants.
Introducing Giant Toasted Ants, a self-explanatory line of edible insects, available from England now.
Before we start, let’s be clear: this is not a joke. And no, we’re not advocating that you begin an all-new insect-heavy diet. Not necessarily. But we thought you should know there is, for whatever reason, a new line of gourmet edible ants, straight from the regal shores of olde England. They’re made with real ants, which are then, yes, toasted to make them taste... well, a bit like bacon, but crispier. (Not recommended for breakfast, however.) And they’re then packaged in a tiny pouch, which you’ll obviously want to carry on your person at all times.
So when would you use these things? Well, they’re obviously ideal for your next Fear Factor-themed dinner party. But they also have other uses—for one, they’re considered an aphrodisiac by the Guane Indians, who harvest the ants in the Colombian Amazon. (And when have the Guane Indians ever guided you wrong?) We’ll leave it up to you to figure out how to get your date to actually eat one.
Really, what could go wrong.